Ireland 'gone'

Ireland 'gone'

Ireland has woken up this morning to find that it has gone.

The country, which was warned for hours last night to make sure everything was tied down, disappeared from radar around 03:40 last night.

It's understood residents were last heard jubilantly celebrating an event they had dubbed "Bank Holiday Ophelia".

Former Ballyman local Sean O'Rourke took to Twitter to express his shock at the news, before remarking "all things considered this is still better than having to go to work".

Meanwhile popstars from around the world have released heartfelt statements which manage to be both insincere and offensively imply Ireland is part of the UK.

Landlords have warned that the disappearance of the entire country will not affect their plans to increase rent above the rate of inflation, while Ryanair have advised passengers booked to travel to the former site of Dublin Airport that they will not be receiving any refunds.

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