TUI advert 'able to survive a nuclear apocalypse'
That God-awful TUI advert is able to survive a nuclear apocalypse, the travel agent has revealed.
The marketing campaign for the stupidly-renamed Thomson started in November 2017, and has been appearing on TV, radio and billboards ever since.
The ridiculously smug main character, who inevitably will have been receiving death threats seeing as that's how things are done in 2018, has promised to continue to let us know that "ain't nobody loves me better" even in the event of the worst tragedy.
Survivors will be greeted by the sight of cockroaches, and a woman being fanned with umbrellas at the side of a pool in Kefalonia.
A joint business known as Rufus and Chaka Khan have apologised for releasing the catchy '80s pop hit, which has since headed out on a campaign of terror, in the form of remixes by Diana King and Felix Jaehn.
But its most terrifying attack yet was the strand intimidatingly called 'the TUI advert'.
Faced with such terror, mankind can only rely on satire to get it through the days. And for this, we must thank the Thomas Cook advert, which I compel you to watch and then book a holiday with them. If you're busy don't take it, just pay for the holiday anyway as a mark of respect for their clever jibe.